Ah, you're still here? Excellent. Let's begin...

My Name is Hektor Plasm, and I am a Chronopirate and Temporal Artisan. 

What does that mean?

Aha, tricky... basically, Chronopirates plunder the seas of time and space, and retrieve things... It's all above board, probably.
It's a bit of a lucky dip really, like fishing around in the murk at the bottom of a pool- you can never tell what might turn up...
The past and the future are rather tangled, and sometimes an excursion* doesn't turn up a tangible artefact at all, more of just an impression, or with luck, an image- of something. That's where the Temporal Artisans come in. If we can't grab it- perhaps we can make it... and if someone wanted to swap it, say for money...

(* It is rare that a Chronopirate actually leaves the here and now; it is extremely hazardous, and so much safer to just plunge about in the timesoup and see what turns up in the spoon, if you will.)

Things like this, for example:-

Martian Heat Ray- Probably from the unfortunate Wells' Expedition of 1903

Sadly, time flies like an arrow (fruit flies...etc, ahem) and so bringing back fully functional devices is unlikely- so no antimatter bombs or Lemurian Majic Stones, for example- at least not really dangerous ones...

If anyone asks- they're just props, ok?


I'm always open to ideas- drop me a line below if you are looking for something particular, and I'll see what can be done!