Tuesday, 30 April 2019

Thought for the day.

I don't know how long I've been I here now, it seems like forever... But I still have power on my device (ooo...er), so it can't be that long. Unless it is. Things are strange in here.
I'll try and explain later, but for now, I don't even know if you - whoever you may be - will even see this...
The universe might have gone out by the time I find a way back out.
Or it might just be a Tuesday. They are always a pain in the arse, but better than the cinder of a Universe, I suppose.
That is an interesting idea. Something to think about, which is about all I can do at the moment...

Aha! Just had another thought! (See what I mean?)
Anyway, it strikes me that as our stocks of coal and other dead dinosaur fuel diminishes, then the lighter than air dirigible aerocraft will gain in importance for our global transportation needs.

There you go. A thought from the whirly abyss.



Sunday, 15 July 2018

I have a plan...!

I have a plan!

All I have to do, is avoid the the bloody Pterosaurs and wait...

It's so simple I don't know why I didn't think of it before!

Actually, I don't know how long I've been in here... I don't actually know if time passes in here... so I may have thought of this brilliant idea really quickly after all! Yay me!

But I digress... all I have to do, is wait. Wait until I* stick my head down into the Event Waistband, and scramble up it and away!

I know it will work, as that's how I ended up in here....

Hmmm... I may have to think this through.

No rush, I have plenty of time.


* I, being previous me, a short time** ago. No paradox there, surely...

** Time, being what it is, What it is, I have no idea... or how long it was ago. Or will be, eh....

Friday, 25 May 2018

Aiieee again...

No need to panic- I can see now. It's not a fly!

I think I must have panicked a little, there, I'm terribly sorry. A fly is only a problem if it gets in a teleportation cubicle with one's good self. How absurd to worry about that!
I've fallen into the crotch of a pair of Chronopants, by Jove, not a Teleportation Cubicle.
That's in the Garage, not the Bloodshed.


Anyway, it seems to be some sort of Pterosaur. 



Good job it's so far away then, that it looks like a fly, eh.

Cool under pressure, me.

Oh, yes, by the way.


(It was in the title, after all...)

See you in the past!

Thursday, 10 May 2018

Aiee! The bloody nerve of some...people.

I'm falling, you see.

Rather slowly, as it happens, and in no particular direction, so I suppose that's all right.

I don't know if you can see this journal posting, but some damn fool has pushed me into the Chronovortex - yes that one- in the nether regions of my Time Travel Trousers!

And as if that wasn't bad enough- some other damn fool grabbed my arm and hauled me in!

And if that wasn't bad enough... he then proceeded to scramble up my back and climbed out, through the Event Waistband, thus propelling me deeper into this bloody void.

And to make matters worse- I'm sure he - for it was indeed a he- was in fact me!
(Another me, that is - not this me, obviously). And if it wasn't me, then he was a damn fine looking fellow, cut from the same cloth, I can tell you.
And so I assume it was yet another me who did the pushing as well...

Anyway, that explains that.... I think. Complicated, this Time Trousering, that's certain.

I wonder if it was me who pushed me in? And from where, or rather, when?
At least I suppose this means I will get out of here eventually... I'll try and write again, and let you know what happens- it might be a lark!
If I can, that is. Who knows how long ones accumulator will last in such a place, or indeed how long is long in here? I suppose I'll have plenty of time to think things over until I can climb out over the back of the next me - however long it takes. Or not...

Well, let's see what's what, eh?

Oh dear - is that a fly? 0-o

Sunday, 25 February 2018

Either something Rather Odd is going on...

...or am I just getting paranoid?

Or... has it something to do with this damn-fool Chonovortex?
I wonder.

Here I am, staring into the swirling pit of the Time Vortex whizzing quietly around in the croth of the Time Travel Trousers that I had so recently acquired - it's oh so pretty, so colourful, so serene - in an apocalyptic chasm-of-infinite-nothingness, of course; Sipping a nice hot cup of Oolong that I had just popped out of the Bloodshed to get, feeling quite nice and snoozy and calm and not at all being drawn slowly and inexorably into the void, when I saw something -or someone out of the corner of my eye!

I of course whipped around, expecting to catch some blighter trying to spy on my many secrets through the  door that I had been forced to leave open (I don't think these blasred Time Travel Trousers have seen the inside of a decent laundry for many a good year, neither subjective nor objective, and so have a certain malodorous funk about them that fair makes the old eyes water in a confined space, I must say), but there wasn't anyone to be seen?

Am I seeing things? Pixies?

I replayed the notion over in my head. There was definitely a blur, of that I have no doubt.
The cat? Possibly, but she is far too cautious to venture into the Bloodshed, even just the doorway. Not again, anyway... Wait-

A noise from without. That bush is rustling... I'll be right back.

Wednesday, 7 February 2018

Oh dear, here I am again. And again!

I must say, this time travel is confusing!
I'm not even supposed to be doing it, so I must say this is quite an inconvenience!

Still, accidents happen, and here I am. Again.
Following the unfortunate encounter with those accursed Time Travel Trousers, that I may or may not have related to you already... have I even described them to you yet? Well...

Ahem, an unfortunate event, needless to say, and I found myself cast into the Vortex- then, here I was once more! Imagine my relief! I cast off the treacherous trews, and, clad in my finest underwear, dashed into the BloodShed to see to their immediate shutting down when - imagine my surprise... I was already in there!

Had I been propelled into the past, and nearly surprised my unsuspecting past self with my unexpected appearance? Such an event would be unthinkably unwise - paradoxically speaking. I could well precipitate my immediate and messy dissolution at best, or cause the entire vista of creation itself to pop like an over-inflated bladder!

Or had I been precipitated into some future time, where revealing myself to, er, myself would not go down too well. Knowing me as I do, a past version of myself would probably be received with the same sort of enthusiasm reserved for an unwanted relative in one's nuptual chambers...

Either way, things would not end well, and I was not going to be 'that chap'...

In short, I do not know!

I retired quietly to a nearby bush, and have been skulking in here for quite some little time now.
Fortunately, my pocket telegraph seems to work quite well still, although its pile is nearly exhausted, and its poor chronometer doesn't know if it is coming or going...

Very much like myself!

I shall stop here, while I still have a little power remaining, lest I should need to communicate further!

Hopefully, I shall update you soon, or will have already done so...

Oh dear...

Monday, 25 December 2017

Seasons Greetings!

It's a happy end-of-year, however you like it, so have a Very Happy Time!